I have always been selective about the people I spend my time with. I have even gone out of my way to look for people who were better than me in the hopes that I might improve at least by learning from them. I have been blessed to meet many people in my life who are smarter, kinder, more knowledgeable, fitter, calmer, better than me at skills I enjoy, more insightful, just plain more. This has been a blessing because it has shown me that I can be more and provided me with role models to show the way. People I can admire and learn from. These are two things that go a long way to helping me become, but there is a third thing and it works with the other two in a magical way. The third thing is inspiration. When I might these people my mind moves to new heights. I dream bigger dreams. I am filled with ideas, excitement and energy. When I combine that with what I have learned, I make great progress towards my goals. It helps keep me focused on my dreams, which moves me closer to them. It maintains my attention and reminds me to just keep moving forward.
Spending time with these people also allows me to feel a little of what it feels like to achieve what I want to achieve. Through their successes I am given a glimpse of my own. I feel genuine excitement and good feelings when they are blessed and I know this contributes to having my own blessings delivered.
Today, I am grateful for the most amazing people I have met. Some I have met who pass quickly through my life, but some remain. I feel truly blessed that I have been sent these inspirations.
I’m questioning my need to release. When something happens that does not sit well with me I feel I need to come to terms with it. This may be counterproductive.
By questioning and examining, I am holding its energy, keeping it in my life. Sure I only keep it until I’m ready to let it go, but the fact remains, I keep it here.
I have decided that maybe all the messages to ignore and not own circumstances that don’t feel good might in fact have merit. Maybe I can ignore that which does not sit well. Maybe it has nothing to do with me. Maybe it sits well for others but not for me and I don’t have to own it. That way the energy will move quickly from my life. I can keep that spot open for something that feels good.
I am beginning to see the sense in this. Am I smart enough to follow through? It is one thing to know something and another to act. Even as I write this, I feel the resistance to experiencing my life in a different way. I’ve chosen to ignore it. This is the start of a new journey of discovery.
“I am sorry,” I said.
“What for?” came the short abrupt reply.
“I don’t know. I only know that I have done something to upset you. You treat me so badly, I must have done something to upset you. I don’t know what that is, but I am truly sorry. I do not want to upset you.”
He nodded his head, but remained silent.
“I am sorry. Perhaps you could tell me what I should be sorry for, what it is that I have done.”
“You don’t pay me enough attention.”
“I am so sorry. I didn’t realise you need more attention. If that is all I have done, I can certainly give you more attention. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
He nodded his head, but was still silent.
“Thank you. You didn’t have to forgive me. I’m really glad that you did. It feels so much better. Thank you so much.” I silently blessed him; I felt deep love for him; and the conversation was over.
This short conversation ended six months of a stand off with a child in my class. He refused to accept that I liked him. With every offering, he would turn it around into how unfair things were and how unliked he was. I was feeling defeated as every offer to connect was shut down.
There are four simple steps to h’oponopono.
Please forgive me.
I love you.
This is just one way I have known it to work. Before this, I had not thought to actually voice the words to the person, choosing to use the lines in private. After this, I have said these words with good effect.
Respect that the other may have a totally different story to you – say sorry.
There are days when my heart aches for people or places. There are times when I miss my family, miss my friends, miss my old work colleagues. At these times I ask myself, “What am I really missing?”
I might think I miss a certain person, an old workplace or the warm sunshine in winter. It turns out however that usually what I’m missing is what that certain person gives me, the way I felt at the old workplace or the comforting warmth of the sun. When I can work out what it is that they give me, I can recognise the feelings I need to cultivate.
No one and certainly no thing can make me feel anything. Therefore I know that I can find ways to feel those feelings even if a person or situation that I connect with the feeling is not physically present. It is up to me to find those feelings for myself.
It can be lovely to remember times spent with people and how that felt, but it does not fulfil the needs that brought on the missing in the first place. Meeting my own needs eases the angst of missing and the bonus is that I can have more honest relationships with those people I miss, as I am aware of what they bring to the connection. I appreciate them more.
Being aware of my needs and honouring myself by meeting those needs does not discount others, it helps to create easier relationships. If I am missing a friend who used to be available to help motivate and organise me, I can ask a different friend if they could help to motivate and organise me. If all I need is a hug, I can ask for a hug (and give a bonus one back).
Missing people is a blessing because it helps me meet my needs. It also helps me appreciate others that little bit more.
When we encounter situations in our life that we don’t like and we want to change, it is easy to focus on what it is we don’t want, to concentrate our energy on its presence, to give our attention to all that does not sit well. It is, after all, what we are trying to rid ourselves of.
Complaining and worrying about circumstances that are not what we want, only gives them more energy. This energy holds the circumstances in our lives for longer. In fact in fighting, we are inviting the circumstances to stick around a little longer.
Deciding on what we do want and focussing our energy and attention there, invites what we do want into our lives. What we turn our attention and energy to has life and we can bring about any change we want in our lives by deciding to make it a focus.
Paying attention, worrying, daydreaming, planning, visualising, talking about and wanting all give energy. This energy is like an investment that pays out in what manifests in our lives.
Step lightly – choose wisely about where to invest your energy.
Today I’m so full of happiness and excitement, I feel like a child who can’t wait for Christmas. Today I’m going to work. I work as a school teacher and today is the day the children come back from holidays. I am so excited to have their energy back in the classroom, to hear about their holidays, to teach them useful things, to create art, to play sport, to have fun and learn with them. I think that is the most exciting part of my job. I get to learn, but I also get the privilege of watching others learn and grow. This fills my heart with joy. This is what I was put here to do. I am blessed to have found what it is that makes my heart sing and puts a bounce in my step. I am blessed to be able to remember these feelings of gratitude on days when I go to work and don’t feel so grand. I am blessed to know how I found myself working in a job that gives me so much pleasure. It wasn’t a random stroke of luck, but conscious decisions made over time that have led to me finding work that fulfils me. Some people say I’m lucky, but I have learned the secret to luck is to consciously make it yourself. Here is a summary of how I’ve made my own luck.
- I have made decisions to follow my bliss, to go in the direction that feels good. I have asked myself if choices felt good and I have pointed myself in that direction.
- I have made the decision to be happy. I have consciously chosen to look for what makes me happy, to see more of it, to do more of it and to feel more of it.
- I have made the decision to live in peace. I have consciously chosen to look for it always, to see more of it, to bring more of it to situations and to feel more of it.
- I have made the decision to be grateful. Gratitude can turn anything around. Whenever I feel dissatisfied with a situation, I look for something to say thank you for and I remember how I can learn. I remember how happy I was to get into a situation in the first place and I remember that I have the final say on where I will head to next.
- I have accepted my responsibility, my responsibility to create, my responsibility to decide, my responsibility for all that comes into my life, whether I like it or not. By accepting this, I am able to bring more of the things I love into my life.
- I have lived honestly. By living my truth, I have been able to know my truth. I know what makes me happy and I can see clearly some of the things that have helped to bring me here.
- I have let go and released things that have not brought me the peace and happiness I desire.
I know there is more, but these things are some biggies. If making decisions is the biggest responsibility we have, knowing what the options are is the second biggest. Open yourself to some new options – ones that make your heart sing.
Have you ever played the ‘what if?’ game? It invites new possibilities into situations that don’t sit well. Here are some great what if questions..
What if it didn’t matter?
What if I’m wrong?
What if I’m right?
What if I said sorry?
What if it turns out for the best?
What if they actually care about me?
What if it gets better?
What if everyone is going to treat me better than I think?
What if I just let it go?
What if I trust that the universe is supporting me?
What if? Open the door and allow new possibilities in.
Ahh, doesn’t that feel better?