“I am sorry,” I said.
“What for?” came the short abrupt reply.
“I don’t know. I only know that I have done something to upset you. You treat me so badly, I must have done something to upset you. I don’t know what that is, but I am truly sorry. I do not want to upset you.”
He nodded his head, but remained silent.
“I am sorry. Perhaps you could tell me what I should be sorry for, what it is that I have done.”
“You don’t pay me enough attention.”
“I am so sorry. I didn’t realise you need more attention. If that is all I have done, I can certainly give you more attention. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
He nodded his head, but was still silent.
“Thank you. You didn’t have to forgive me. I’m really glad that you did. It feels so much better. Thank you so much.” I silently blessed him; I felt deep love for him; and the conversation was over.
This short conversation ended six months of a stand off with a child in my class. He refused to accept that I liked him. With every offering, he would turn it around into how unfair things were and how unliked he was. I was feeling defeated as every offer to connect was shut down.
There are four simple steps to h’oponopono.
Please forgive me.
I love you.
This is just one way I have known it to work. Before this, I had not thought to actually voice the words to the person, choosing to use the lines in private. After this, I have said these words with good effect.
Respect that the other may have a totally different story to you – say sorry.