Fearing fear is futile

Fear. I’ve always been a little frightened of it and wanted to get rid of it. When I notice it, I apply logic and in no time I realise I have nothing to fear. In fact, I have done this so often and in so many different circumstances I have come to believe that there is nothing to fear. Yet fear returns. It has never quite left me, although I can reason away my need for it.
The logic defies me. I face the same situation as I have previously and feel the fear put walls up. Yet I know I survived the situation before and came out the other side quite happily – nothing to fear.
Removing the fear has seemed necessary because the fear stands between me and the totally open and honest experience I want to enjoy. Yet, I wonder if I have it wrong. Perhaps I am working to remove the unremovable. Acceptance of the fear feels good, but the walls remain.
So, today I choose to bring trust into situations where I feel fear. Feel the fear, then trust that I am safe; trust that I am looked after; trust that all is well. I can also trust that if the walls remain after I have reminded myself that I can trust, that the walls are a necessary part of my experience.
Step lightly – rather than say goodbye to fear, say hello to trust.

Afternoon light

I have been so busy holding on and dealing with a major life crisis that I have been ‘forbidden’ to share, that I have not shared other parts of my life for some time now. But, as I look through the dark forest, I see the sun is still shining on the other side of the hill. I feel my burdens lifted. I hear life speak to me and ask me to share. I know it is time for me to write again. So today, I begin. I begin a little older, far more confused about human behaviour, but oh, so more certain that love, happiness and honesty are what I choose. Today, I again choose to share my journey with you. Let the fun begin…

February 29 – Bonus Day!

February 29th is a bonus day. It is a day that doesn’t really count, like that extra hour that comes with dayllight saving. I make a point of being a little more daring, stepping outside my comfort zone, simply acting like the day doesn’t really count. I am free from attachment. Funny thing is, when I do this, I tend to have a remarkable day.
I can remember the last February 29th in great detail. It was the day I met my husband. Bonus day! Turned into bonus years!
When the day rocks up, I am conscious to let go of my fears, to be a little braver and take the leap. Then I seem to remember to do this for quite some time. I have noticed in the last couple of months an air of complacency, where I’ve felt more than respect for the limb, I’ve actually been a little frightened to go out there.
So today, I’m grateful for the reminder that wonderful things happen when we live without fear. That I feel more joy when I live without attachment.
It is only me that stops me living like this each and every day. Today, I’m going to make the most of my bonus day by allowing myself to live like this each and every day.
Step lightly – make the most of your bonus days!

Live today

Today is today. It is not yesterday. It is not tomorrow. It is not meant to be filled with yesterday’s drama, yesterday’s tears, yesterday’s anything. It is not meant to be filled with tomorrow’s worries.
Today is to be filled with today’s events. If you are holding onto yesterday, you might not allow all the wonder that could unfold today. If you are remembering how nasty that person was yesterday, do you think they will be loving today? If you are holding onto the mistake you made, do you think it will be easy to try again today? If you are remembering the pain of yesterday, the joy of today will have pain washed over it.
If you are worrying about tomorrow, you are worrying about something that might never arrive. You are focussing your energy on what you don’t want. Focussed energy gets results. Focussing energy on something undesirable will get results, but probably not the ones you are hoping for.
By all means, learn from yesterday and take that learning into today. Dream about tomorrow. If you are looking for a peaceful, happy today, leave yesterday and tomorrow out of it.
Step lightly – enjoy all the possibilities of today by living today, not yesterday or tomorrow.

Peace and happiness come from your actions

Not everyone is honest. Not everyone wants the best for others. Not everyone respects others. I sometimes forget this and am surprised when I encounter it. When I do stumble across it, I like to remember a few things. The person who is being manipulative, the person who is not wanting the best, the person who is disrespectful, that person is acting in a way that cannot be bringing them happiness. They are acting in fear. They cannot possibly see the good in others if they cannot see it in themselves.
I sometimes think these people are sent my way occasionally to help me to see how important these things are. They are important to me because they have filled my life with happiness and peace. They have provided me with a strong foundation from which I cannot be rocked.
When I see others acting in a way that only magnifies their fears, I cannot condemn them. I cannot deem them terrible. The way I choose to respond is to love them. It is loving for me to stop their behaviour. It is loving for both me and for them. It is not loving to say nothing and allow them to continue to live in fear. It is loving for me to accept that they may not like what I say. It is loving for me to know that these people cannot affect me. They can bombard me with lies, manipulations and attacks. These will only affect me if I am not aware. I am aware, so I see the attacks and I know they come from fear and that this cannot truly harm me.
Step lightly – peace and happiness come from your actions, not someone else’s.

Wounded egos

I am sometimes surprised when others act less than lovingly towards me. Whether I am surprised or not, it does happen. When it happens, I find that I need to consciously centre myself or I get carried into their perceptions and their lives.
If my ego feels wounded, I will not respond from a loving space. If I take a moment to centre myself I can allow acknowledge the pain and then remind myself that my ego is not in charge. I can choose to respond from somewhere other than hurt. I can only do this if I acknowledge the hurt, so I can clearly see it.
This also reminds me that the person acting in this way is not acting from a loving space, but acting from their ego too. I am not hurt by someone acting from a loving space. I have had things happen that I didn’t like, but have not felt hurt.
When I can see this in the person, I remember that they are people. I can see that their actions are done to support themselves. I can accept this and remember to show more support to others. I can accept that it is more about their need to support themselves than my need to save my own ego. I can let them keep their unloving ways and I can choose to have my loving ones.
Step lightly – don’t take on board other people’s drama.

Life doesn’t have to be perfect

 

Life doesn’t have to be perfect in order to be wonderful. We don’t have to wait until everything is just right to be happy. We don’t have to eradicate all violence. There is no single thing that without it we cannot be happy.
Life is just as wonderful as we choose it to be. We can choose to see the things that fill our hearts and make us smile. We can choose to see the things that frustrate us, fill us with anger and separate us. Life is not some conspiracy that is delivered to us.
Life is what we make of it. Looking around I see evidence of this daily. The same thing happens to different people and their responses to it are different. There is no milk at the shop. One person might get angry, another frustrated, another doesn’t care and finds some powdered milk. The fact there is no milk has no bearing on their lives. The way they choose to react to it does. The person who doesn’t care will have a more pleasant experience than those who become frustrated and angry. Once I figured this one out, life became so much more pleasant. We get to choose our responses.
We also get to choose what we focus on. Choosing to respond in anger and frustration somehow keeps us more attached to what we do not want, do not enjoy. Our focus is honed. I choose to focus on those things that bring me joy and happiness. That does not mean I deny the existence of all else. I just choose not to fill my life with it.
Step lightly – choose to have a wonderful life.